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Yabadu знакомства страница [Jun. 12th, 2016|06:42 am]
the_lost_ones
nofliui6
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Знакомства по телефону [Jun. 11th, 2016|06:12 am]
the_lost_ones
stjahlad
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(no subject) [Aug. 10th, 2004|07:56 am]
the_lost_ones

morbid_souled
NEW LJ IS deadly_desires
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(no subject) [Jul. 26th, 2004|09:28 am]
the_lost_ones

morbid_souled
link3 comments|post comment

Update.. [Jul. 19th, 2004|09:01 am]
the_lost_ones

morbid_souled
[mood |crappycrappy]
[music |"Blurry" Puddle of Mud]

Okay well its been forever since I last updated this.. So I decided to update it.. so here I go.. Anywayz.. Today I came to the realization that its a nightmare I'm waking up TO ...rather then a nightmare I'm waking up FROM ...Ugh I feel soo lonely.. Everyday I have to tell myself that things will get better if I could just make it through today...But they never get better.. They get worse.. Everyday gets harder and harder to make it through....Why does he make it look so easy? WHY? It hasn't even been two weeks yet and he's already flirting with other gurls.. I don't get it.. I can't even look at another guy without wanting to cry.. and there he is TELLING me about all the great girls he met.. and the thing is... I'm NOT ONE OF THEM... AHH.. I just want to curl up and die... And you know the hard part is.. I can't run to the person that I need too...
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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2004|12:47 pm]
the_lost_ones

slienced_tears
This is my new journal.
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BlackMail... [Jul. 5th, 2004|03:06 pm]
the_lost_ones
dark_souled
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |"Until the Day I die" Story of the year]

Would you go as far as to blackmail your relative just to teach them a lesson?
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Before [Jul. 3rd, 2004|11:15 pm]
the_lost_ones

enamoredwithyou
[mood |rejectedrejected]
[music |What I Want - Autopilot Off]

This is what I was trying to say before... I finally found the words and told La Tasha...

resistingsaturday4ever: hi
La Tasha : hello
resistingsaturday4ever: how are you
La Tasha : good
La Tasha : you?
La Tasha : brb
resistingsaturday4ever: not good
La Tasha : whats wrong
resistingsaturday4ever: workcamp
resistingsaturday4ever: and most of the people going
La Tasha : ?
La Tasha : oh
La Tasha : well you wanna talk about it?
resistingsaturday4ever: i donno
resistingsaturday4ever: i'm having second thoughts about all my friendships
La Tasha : what do you mean?
resistingsaturday4ever: i don't know who to trust and who to talk to anymore
resistingsaturday4ever: after that car ride home tuesday night it made me feel like kre hates me and jsut wants me to leave
La Tasha : how so
resistingsaturday4ever: she basically yelled at me about the whole brett thing in october now is coming and asking me to help her with things
resistingsaturday4ever: it makes me feel kinda used
resistingsaturday4ever: i'm the person there when she feels weak and can't talk to other people
resistingsaturday4ever: it seems like she hates helping me though when i need it
La Tasha : im sorry.
resistingsaturday4ever: it just makes me wonder how miserable workcamp will be
La Tasha : hmm
resistingsaturday4ever: i don't even want to go anymore
resistingsaturday4ever: the only reason i wanna go now is to see spencer
resistingsaturday4ever: which is a bad reason
La Tasha : oh?
resistingsaturday4ever: and its a worse reason because i only want to see him because hes kinda cute but kre thinks so too
resistingsaturday4ever: so its like i lose no matter what
La Tasha : i knew what that was like.. lol
La Tasha : with alyssa..
resistingsaturday4ever: but you weren't mad at her before it all happened were you?
La Tasha : like with mikey and then i kinda sorta not really liked noah and she was like i love noah and stuuff.
La Tasha : um.
La Tasha : i dunno.
La Tasha : i am not sure what she reakllly thingks of me
resistingsaturday4ever: she didn't lie and back stab you before that happened did she
La Tasha : it just made me mad back then when she says shell tell me if she hatess me then acts different from what she writes..
La Tasha : but everyone does that about someone, i dunno weve grown closer since then
resistingsaturday4ever: ...i just feel trapped
resistingsaturday4ever: i'm sick of like our whole youth group...well not everyone but a lot of people
resistingsaturday4ever: it makes me wonder if there is a god after seeing how people who go to church act outside of church
resistingsaturday4ever: and seeing how they treat other people in their own church when they aren't at church
La Tasha : yeah
La Tasha : i find myself being like that sometimes..its not good
resistingsaturday4ever: i want to just go somewhere where i can be alone
resistingsaturday4ever: completely alone
resistingsaturday4ever: it makes me want to go and never come back
resistingsaturday4ever: all my "friends" have hurt me in someway
La Tasha : im sorry
resistingsaturday4ever: don't be
resistingsaturday4ever: you did it too
resistingsaturday4ever: no one is really sorry
resistingsaturday4ever: sorry doesn't exist
La Tasha : aah fuck. i dont even know what to say to that..
resistingsaturday4ever: then don't say anything at all
La Tasha : -exit que-
La Tasha has signed out. (7/3/2004 11:13 PM)
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Stupid People [Jul. 3rd, 2004|08:19 pm]
the_lost_ones

enamoredwithyou
[mood |rejectedrejected]
[music |So Far Away - Staind]

I just want to cry. I hate asking people to help me all the time. I'm like always asking for rides here and there. It seems like I can never help my friends though or at least they never ask me to help. They always turn to other people. They critisize me for my choices then go and do the same stupid things I do and come back asking for help. I tell them I did that and make them remember all the things they said when I did it and they do it anyway and come back asking for help. I hate to be mean to them, but how many times should I let them come back? Seriously, it's wearing me down. I don't know how much longer I will be able to tolerate people before I break. The worst part is when I ask for favors from people, they make it seem like it's a tedious task, like they don't want to do it. They seem hateful that I need help, yet when they need help I'm there for them. Maybe I am just being over dramatic, but I'm not sure how I will handle this week up in Washington with a bunch of people I don't partiularly like. I like a few people, but some I can't stand. I really don't know what to do. I want to just lay down and cry. I wish I could go back to the California trip and just stay with those people and there forever. I want to go back to the Friday nights where I would be outside the band room crying before a football game, the Friday nights where Josh would come and sit and talk. He made me feel so much better. I don't know what it is about him. He didn't even need to say anything. He just needed to be there. I wish he was here now. Something about Josh just made me feel safe and comforted. Why does he have to be going out with Patti? No guy has ever really been like him. I donno if any guy will be. Well...I should go. I need to rinse my face and pretend like everything is okay some more. Bye.
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Ironic.. [Jul. 2nd, 2004|02:15 pm]
the_lost_ones
dark_souled
[mood |crappycrappy]
[music |"Someday" Nickleback]

I think its funny how you could spend all your time and energy trying to get rid of someone so then theres no temptation to screw up the relationship you have.. But just when you finally get rid of them... you feel all depressed and miss them as if they just died.....


Its just spitonyourneckkickyouonthecrotch Fantastic... Woopee...
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